Who deserves to be born?

So the doco has hit the airwaves and with it comes the debate.

I expected the Right To Lifers to come out swinging – but maybe they were all in bed at that late hour. The negative interestingly enough from an unexpected quarter – from Adults living with CF.

They are right in some respects – the documentary was sad, focusing on CF as an illness with no cure. (Fact)

Yes there are better management practices now and life is being extended further and further for people living with this condition.

However, all of this goes out the window when as a parent you learn of yet another death of someone under the age of 16. One more of the children that you are used to seeing at the other end of the corridor have passed away and the fear you have for your own child resurfaces.

As a parent regardless of the condition your child faces, there is a certain amount of guilt, sadness and grief that you work through. Some work through quicker than others. So is anyone wrong in this?

No. Feelings are real irrespective of others opinions. They are the feelings of me as a mum.

We don’t for one moment regret having Chase; in fact I discuss this in the doco; that we wouldn’t give him up for all the tea in china. We adore him and the fact that CF has given us a new window on the world, one filled with compassion, heartwarming friendships and an opportunity to fight for a cause bigger than oneself.

So for all the adults with CF who criticize my feelings as a mum, I suggest you ask your own parents – was there ever a day, a moment when they didn’t feel a sadness that went to the very core of their being, a guilt that didn’t threaten to overwhelm them and a fear that made them question their ability as parents?

This is the role of parenthood and the documentary focused on us as parents, not on Chase and his outcomes but us and how we face a life with CF. And yes it is different from how Chase faces it. It is different to how Chase will face it when he becomes an adult.  And it may well be different to how adults with CF face it.

But just because it is different doesn’t make it wrong. Respect that at least.